Pressure.

So, this is how I've been feeling lately.



Pressure-Paramore
Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again

Cause I fear I might break
And I fear I cant take it
Some night I'll lie awake
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Now that I'm losing hope
And theres nothing else to show
For all of the days that were spent
carrying away from hope

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Without you

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
But I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Feel the pressure
its getting closer now
You're better off without me

Mexico...

I miss being in Mexico. Down there I feel like that's where I'm supposed to be. Probably because that's the only place I feel like I know who I am. When I was there, I knew why. I knew what my purpose was. Back here, I feel completely unsure of anything. I have know idea what to do with myself. I don't have a job right now, but even when I did, I had no idea about anything. I have no idea who I am, or even who exactly I want to be. I mean, I kinda know who that is, but I don't really know how to get there. I think the Lord may be calling me into missions. I've always had the thought in the back of my head, and have been waiting for it to be confirmed. I think the fact that, me feeling so right doing missions work, and so unsure at home, might just be that confirmation.

Favorites...

I've never been one to have favorites. I couldn't tell you why. It's annoying though... I don't like doing surveys or things that ask me what my favorite something or other is... because I never have answers. I've never had a passion for anything in particular either. So I've decided to go on a quest to find things that I'm passionate about, and decide what my favorites are.
Some of the things I know that are my favorites are my kids. Isaac, Lauralyn, and Abigail. I look forward to seeing those little goobers every week. I miss them now that I'm on vacation and didn't get to see them yesterday or Sunday.
I love to drive by myself. Just being in the calm quietness, or loud music, haha.
I love feeling like I've done a good job at something.
I love Strawberry fresh fruit smoothies from Sonic.
I love it when someone makes me smile, especially when they don't have to try very hard.
I love finding some new clothes that I absolutely love.
I love ice cold water on a hot day.
I love the feeling of being completely tired, because I've actually done something within that day worth being tired about.
I love romance books. (christian romance, because those are just so sweet and innocent.)
I love the smell of clean sheets.
I love the feel of freshly shaved legs in those sheets.
I love lots of simple things, I've easily amused by them.

The beginning of a Journey

Right now in the Senior High girl Bible study, we are studying the book "Stepping Heavenward". Thus, as I begin my journey towards a closer walk with God, I have decided to name my blog the same. I've been a "christian" as long as I can remember, but the actual closeness of my relationship with God has varied. Therefore I am pursuing a more permanent, deeper relationship with him. So, as Katy keeps a journal in the book, I will keep a journal here. I have journals on paper, but sometimes it flows better through all of my fingers, as opposed to the three I use to hold the pen.